I can openly admit that I’m the kind of person to care too much, and when you’re the type of person to care so much about “..Ooh what’s everyone going to think?” and “..I wonder what they’re saying over there?!” with a little bit of “..What if this person has this much to say?” and a whole load of “..What if this.. and what if that?” you drive yourself into a place that can be suffocating for nobody else but you.
Sometimes, I drive myself so far down this stifling tunnel of over caring, I start to second guess myself, and make excuses to not go ahead with thing that I know are right for me just because I care too much. I can sit in silence, but the sound of never ending racket of caring too much will bounce off the walls. So.. what do we do? We do nothing. We do absolutely nothing because we’re too worried about the next decision.
By doing nothing, I tell myself I’m avoiding hurting myself, I’m avoiding being judged, I’m avoiding being talked about and criticised. So doing nothing feels like the best thing TO do. However, by doing nothing, I’m left with the fears of my own thoughts, I’m left with the worry, the questions, the god forsaken “What ifs?”
How do I win? Where do I go, fall and die? Where do I find the cure?
The magical answer to all of the above is to CARE LESS! I’m not going to paralyse myself with all these concerns, I am well and truly not going to give a single fuck.
So here’s to bringing my Salt & Pepper to the table! My 5 tips on how not to give a fuck!
Let’s all be real now. Let’s give ourselves a friendly newsflash, a polite reality check and remind ourselves that the world is filled to the brim with people who are nothing like you. Some will love the bones off your body, and other will hate the ground that you walk on. While some people you meet will think the sun shines out of your behind, the rest of them will want to shove something up your behind. It’s the way the world works; there is good and there is bad. You will have sour relationships, and you will have relationships that you take to the grave. Not every outcome will be what you expect, because the world isn’t black and white. The world is your canvas, that you paint with the colours of your rainbow. It’s your world, and that’s the beauty of it.
Self affirmation is so important. In fact, we’ve been affirmed by the people who love us all our lives, by our parents, our friends and our families, we’ve been told by those who love and cherish us dearly that we’re amazing and that everything we touch turns to gold. The only problem with that is, you start to expect affirmation from everyone, and that’s something you’ll be waiting forever for. That’s why you should talk to yourself, instead of hunting for assurance from other people. They say there is nothing like kind words to lift a broken spirit, how good do we feel when we hear that we’re beautiful? How proud are we of ourselves when our managers give us credit for our work? How successful do you feel when your teachers and mentors have told you you’ve passed! We should give that power to ourselves too. Tell yourself you’re amazing, and that the world is your oyster! Tell yourself you accept your flaws and you’re ready to work on them. Give yourself the reassurance you look for in other places.
How many times have we been told to remember our worth. It’s the words I live by. It’s easy feeling victimised, and like the world is the problem. It’s easier to find the faults of your lover, or a boss who has treated you unfairly because we’d rather throw the blame card around anywhere besides our own back garden. We all like to play the innocent victim, who has the worse things happen to them; but when you stop to look a little closely at the problem, you’ll come to realise that in those situations and circumstances you’re the common denominator. You’re allowing others to treat you so unfairly because you feel you don’t deserve more and by doing so you chip away at your self-esteem little by little until you have no confidence in yourself left. Self-esteem is the reflection we see of ourselves, outside influences shouldn’t ever have the power to shape you self-esteem. Don’t you ever negotiate your self worth, you’ll end up giving the universe an excuse to treat you viciously.
Sometimes we forget that we’re not the only person in the world. We live in a world where we spend so much time analysing ourselves. We can all admit there are times where we’ve been so self focused, self centered, and selfish that we forget that there are people out there who are in a worse position than us. What we’re going through is a small matter compared to what someone else is going through. Do something outside of yourself, focus outwardly because not only does it help distract you from the things you’re going through, it’s also rewarding helping someone else out other than yourself.
Everyone is running their own race, everyone is springing around you, trying to get closer to their goal. Don’t look around at the other runners, and try to figure out how well they’re doing, or how fast they’re going. Don’t compare yourself to the other runners, because everyone is at a different pace, nobody is running the same race. So focus on YOU! Stay in your own lane, and keep you visions locked on your own goal. Don’t bother yourself with the concerns of how closer others are to their goals, or how distant you are to yours. You just keep running your race!