He’s Just Not That Into You

Us women, we have killer instinct. Being right is like second nature to us. Sometimes, I practically feel psychic because I can always judge a situation and guess it’s outcome even before it happens. You can have your whole life under your thumb, everything you touch is successful. But every superhero has it’s kryptonite, and as much as it saddens me to admit, for a lot of women that weakness is MEN! As much as we’d love to be perfectionists, we’re not, and most of the time we find ourselves going wrong with men.

Can you believe? 

The SHOCK! The HORROR!

No seriously; men have the ability to dismantle the securest of minds, and even the strongest of women have fallen prey to a man whose not interested in them, or if he is interested he isn’t interested in committing to you.

Many women, on some level, given the chance, feel that they can change a man into the kind of man they want them to be. Warning signs are often overlooked because they’ve started to genuinely like this person, or because they feel inspired to save the troubled boy, who is confused about his emotions, lost, and not sure about any decision he makes. Women are always searching for the purpose of their existence, and more times than less, men feel that purpose is to serve them. If he isn’t interested in a commitment from you, he’ll allow you to continue serving him, because he won’t be losing out on anything.

While you’ve started building white picket fences, contemplated which way you’ll hang the washing line, and what colour you’ll paint your front door together; he’s lost interest. One morning you wake up and it isn’t the same. There aren’t any messages to wake up to wishing you good morning.

“..Let me quickly send him one” you tell yourself, as you reach for your phone.

No reply.

..”Let me give him a quick call” you notify yourself, as you open up his Facebook profile.

No answer.

“..I’ll leave him a voicemail message” you decide while trying to hack into his Hotmail account.

No callback.

“..I’ll just take a trip to his house,” you say as you go to grab your keys and your coat.

NO WAIT! STOP! PLEASE STOP!

Before you do something you’ll forever remember as the actions you should have NEVER taken, you need to figure out if this person you’re about to lash out on and put on a performance for is interested in you.

Here’re 5 signs that determine he’s just not that into you!

-To have and keep in one's grasp- held the reins tightly.

It’s all fine and dandy when you like that person and want to know everything you possibly can about them. It gets a little strange when that person doesn’t take the same interest in you. If they don’t want to know about all your details or hear about all the stories you’ve stored in your memory box then he isn’t really concerned about you. If he was, he’d be curious about you and your life, the person you were before the two of you met, the scars on your heart, how they got there, the truth in your eyes, then all you’re left with is a physical attraction. When you meet the man that has the power to look beyond his own walls, so that he can study the flowers in your garden, you’ll know about it. He’ll want to revise you until you’ve got nothing left to say about yourself. If you’ve found yourself tied to a person who constantly talks about themselves, their work, hobbies, sports, and achievements, then it’s safe to say that they’re not interested in you, or your life. It isn’t your duty to listen to someone else boost their own ego; a conversation is a dialogue, not a Kings speech!

-To have and keep in one's grasp- held the reins tightly. (2).jpg

It’s getting a little weird when you’ve seen your doctor more times you have your partner! You’ve started putting off your next appointment just to avoid the “..How’s the fella! You seen him yet” conversation you nurse insists on having with you every time you see her.

If you’re seeing little to nothing of the person you’re in a ‘relationship’ with then it safe to say that’s because he doesn’t want to see you. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. If he can’t get enough of you, nothing will keep him away! He’ll want to be around you all the time, create new memories with you, take you on adventures, be the reason behind your smile because you are the source of their happiness. It’s a mutual ground you both stand on to keep the relationship balanced. You haven’t signed yourself up for a part-time commitment, or a full-time virtual one. If you are a priority to  your partner, they will gift you with their time since time is the most precious gift. If not, then you need to stop wasting your own time, and there is not time like the present!

-To have and keep in one's grasp- held the reins tightly. (3).jpg

Your partner becomes part of your circle, you invite him into your little world, a world you’ve adorned with your life and decorated with your highs and your lows. They become part of your every day, they’re a part of your routine. Eventually, your lives get entwined as you both begin to see each other as one force. If he suddenly starts to disappear for days, and you start to hear from him less then you can consider yourself as being irrelevant. Are you so easily forgotten that the person you’re in a relationship with can’t find a single second in the day to check up to see how you are? If that be the case, you should offer that person nothing less than your absence. Again, not hearing from him for days proves that you’re not a priority to him, especially in this day and age, when we’re known as the generation of the technologists, where you can communicate with a person who lives on the other side of the world to you, just by using your phone. It’s been made so easy for us to stay in touch with our loved ones, and if you’re not hearing from him, it isn’t because the owl lost your letter on his journey to you, it’s because he’s choosing not to. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, and he should be making what he can of today. If he ignores the blessings of the moments the present offers, you should leave him no room in your future.

-To have and keep in one's grasp- held the reins tightly. (4).jpg

When you want to make an emotional investment with someone, you start to share parts of your life with this person. If they’re reliable you begin to trust them, and they are the foundations any successful relationship is built on. If you find your partner talking about everything under the sun, but shies away from talking about his feelings, then he isn’t emotionally connected to you.

Two people grow together when you help support one another through the darkness and aid one another in finding the light when one struggles to see it. If he’s withdrawing from you emotionally then he isn’t seeking a connection from you. If he has an excuse for his behaviour, or always finds a way to justify himself when questioned then he’s just looking for the easy route in, and the easiest route out. If you feel comfortable being brushed underneath the carpet with the rest of the dust and dirt then you settle right there and befriend the insects living under there!

-To have and keep in one's grasp- held the reins tightly. (5).jpg

They’re all good guys at the start, they say all the right things, and have us believing butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths! You’re a wise woman if you pay more attention to his actions, more than you do his words. If you start to see a pattern, where his sweet and crumbly words don’t match his actions then he isn’t trustworthy. Promises will go broken, and you’ll set yourself up for disappointment. Words are empty, they need to be filled with actions, one doesn’t work without the other.  A man is a sum of his actions, he is control of his life, and the actions he chooses defines him. If he isn’t choosing to show you he’s interested, he is not interested. You don’t need to be a mind-reader to figure that one out, he’s shouting it at you through his actions!

It’s a woman’s world, and today’s women go after everything they want. If we want something, we’ll chase it, until it is ours – men too right?

WRONG!

Men are born hunters, by nature. If they want you, they will pursue you until you are theirs, for keeps. That means you don’t have to change the colour of your spots, alter your interests, you hobbies, your likes and your dislikes, to match those of another. A man who wants you will see you for your own greatness. Men will go in hard for anything that they want, if he isn’t going in hard for you, you’re not what he wants. So you don’t need to do any chasing. You do nothing. Live your life everyday as though it’s your last. You’re not defined by someone else, you can go on your own adventures and paint your own memories. Let him watch you have the best time of your life.

Love, Always

Nm♡

 

85 Comments Add yours

  1. Lauren says:

    Very detailed post. You’re a good writer. Also I love your about the author page.

    Like

  2. Alina says:

    That’s very true, although you don’t want to seem distant yourself you must always give them space, after all, they’re another person with their own friends and interests. Really loving the style of your post and vintage photos 🙂

    Like

  3. Jenni says:

    Fab post, I need to share this with a few lf my friends x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Kara says:

    It took me a long time to learn my lesson and you are so right about men being hunters – wish I had learned my lesson earlier

    Like

  5. I agree here! Based on experience this is true! If someone doesn’t give you time. Believe me m. He is not into you. Whenever I’m in this kind of situation. I immediately stop while we are still on dating stage.

    Like

  6. Men are born hunters, you are right if they want you they will pursue with everything they have! Great advice 🙂

    Like

  7. Great advice, I think we have all been hear at some point and learnt some of these lessons the hard way

    Like

  8. Evelina says:

    I’ve been there.. If only I realised it earlier. Well, at least I hope I learnt from my mistakes.
    Fabulous post!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Perfect! Consider it a blessing when your sixth sense wakes up to help you see the truth. Goodbye, Mr.! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  10. geminilvr says:

    This is all so true and is happening to me – this line stood out – “Warning signs are often overlooked because they’ve started to genuinely like this person, or because they feel inspired to save the troubled boy, who is confused about his emotions, lost, and not sure about any decision he makes.” Yes, Yes, Yes!!!!

    Like

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